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Wedding Scheduler:
6 to 12 Months Ahead
 | Formally announce your engagement by having both
families meet. Don't forget to get your picture taken and submit to your
local newspapers. |
| Select the date! Consider possible dates that most of
your family will be available. |
| Determine your budget. Talk to your family and find out
if they will be helping arrange and pay for the wedding reception. It is
extremely important to find out who is going to pay for the wedding, the
Bride's Family, the Groom's Family, The Couple, or a combination of all
involved. |
| Book the officiant. You want to make sure that whomever
you want to marry you will be available. |
| Wedding consultant. If you are going to hire a wedding
consultant, conduct your interviews now. Make sure that they are
professional, experienced, and easy to work with. |
| Reserve both the wedding and reception locations. This
is one of the most important things that you need to do. Sometimes you even
need to change the date of the wedding if the place of your dreams is already
booked. Locations book fast, especially during the spring and summer months. |
| If your reception location doesn't provide the food,
hire a caterer to provide the dinner. Obtain references if you don't
personally know the quality of their business. |
| Put together a preliminary guest list to get a rough
head count. (Assume that 20 percent of your guest list probably won't be able
to attend). |
| Pick your wedding party. You want to make sure that the
people who are closest to you are in your wedding party. |
| Book your photographer. Good photographers are booked
quickly. Ask to view their portfolio. |
| Book your videographer. Good videographers are also
booked quickly. View some sample wedding videos. |
| Book your DJ, Band, and any entertainment you would like
at both the wedding reception and at the ceremony itself. Some people are
happy with an organist at the ceremony, some would like a string quartet,
flutist, soloist, etc. The reception is generally a D.J. or a band. Make
sure that all the entertainment is experienced and reliable. |
| Order your wedding gown, veil, shoes and any other
accessories. The earlier you choose and order your gown, the better off you
will be. |
4 to 6 Months Ahead
| Shop and order wedding party dresses and tuxedos. If
members of your wedding party live far away, they could have a tailor or a
bridal shop in their area take their measurements and mail them to you or the
bridal shop or tuxedo shop. Make sure that you collect a swatch of the colors
that you are using. This will make it much easier when you are ordering
things, like flowers, so people can match your bridal party colors. |
| Book your florist. The florist makes it his/her job to
assist you in the color coordination and bouquet arrangements. |
| Reserve any rental equipment. If you are planning an
outdoor ceremony and/or reception, make sure you reserve any tents, tables or
chairs you need. |
| Order the wedding cake. Shop your local bakeries to
sample the "Goods", look at their portfolio, and consider referrals. Design
the cake to match the look and formality of the wedding. |
| Order wedding stationery. This would include your
invitations, RSVP cards, thank you cards, and place cards. |
| Make honeymoon reservations. This is one of the best
parts. If you are going to go out of the country, make sure you have current
passports. |
| Blood Tests. If your state requires a blood test,
arrange the test. |
| Book any transportation needed on the day of the
wedding: Limos, Rolls Royce, etc. Whatever dream you have for riding away
into the sunset as man and wife will need to be booked. |
| Reserve accommodations for out-of-town guests. Check
out the local hotels in your area. |
2 to 4 months Ahead
| Finalize your guest list. Remember that approximately
20% of your guest list won't be able to attend. |
| Meet with the caterer and/or banquet manager. Finalize
the menu and room decorations. |
| Meet with officiant. Discuss the ceremony and any
special readings for the wedding ceremony. Make copies of these readings and
forward to those who you would like to read them at the ceremony. This will
give them time to practice. |
| Arrange final Gown Fitting. Take your shoes, lingerie,
accessories. You want to make sure that everything looks perfect. |
| Write your vows. It takes alot of thought to express
your love to one another. |
| Arrange rehearsal dinner. This could be arranged at a
home or a small restaurant. This should be a casual affair and not formal
like the wedding. |
| Purchase any wedding favors that you would like.
Wedding favors are not required, but they are nice to give one to each guest
as a reminder of your special day. |
| Purchase Wedding Party Gifts. You can thank your
wedding attendants by purchasing accessories they can wear on the day of your
wedding such as necklaces, earrings, purses, cuff links, money clips, etc. |
| Purchase your wedding bands. This is a very important
tangible expression of your love for one another. |
1 to 2 months ahead
| Obtain your marriage license. You usually can obtain
the license up to 30 days in advance. |
| Shop for gifts for each other. This is nice to just say
"I Love You". |
| Purchase a guest book to place at the reception so your
guests can sign their name as they enter the reception. They also can write a
special message. |
| Organize the wedding program, if you have one. More and
more couples are creating programs that are passed out before the wedding
ceremony. This outlines the ceremony's agenda, its readings and its
participants. |
| Make your list as to where you need to change your last
name or address. Most really important things, like drivers licenses and
social security cards, you will need to wait on. The drivers licenses and
social security cards you will probably need to submit a copy of your marriage
certificate in order to change them. Other things, like credit cards, bank
accounts, passports need to be considered. Inform post office of address
change. |
| Send wedding announcements to newspapers |
| Mail wedding invitations. Allow your guests enough time
to make the necessary arrangements. |
| Meet with your hair stylist and/or make up artists for a
run-through. |
| Send out thank you notes for any gifts that you received
prior to your wedding. |
| Make sure that you have your wedding song picked out and
a list of all your songs, details to your entertainment vendor. You will be
announced as you enter the reception, so you will want to make out the list.
(Starting generally with parents, flower girl/ring bearer, attendants,
maid/matron of honor, ending with the happy couple). |
Last Minute Rush
| Pick up wedding dress. Make sure that they stuff the
dress to preserve it's shape and it's covered with a protective bag. |
| Finalize seating arrangements. Involving both sets of
parents can help. This will eliminate any rifts between family and friends. |
| Write speeches to thank family and friends during the
wedding reception. This could be a simple "thank you" for those that are
there to share in your commitment of love for one another. |
| Make hair and makeup appointment. |
| Confirm details with vendors. Double check all vendors
arrangements. Tent/Table rentals, florist, photographer, videographer,
caterers, entertainment, etc. |
| Make sure all your attendants know exactly when everyone
should be where. A listing of the day's activities and their roles is
extremely helpful. |
| Attend rehearsal dinner. |
| Take a huge breath and relax. The day will be
absolutely wonderful! |
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Wedding Reception Ideas
Wedding reception ideas sometimes can get a little overwhelming and
confusing. The possibilities are endless with what you can do and what you
need to do for your wedding reception. The first thing you need to do is
to find the reception site. Will they be providing decorations with the
cost of the location reservation and the meal. Most of your hotels and
catering halls, etc. have their own decorations at their location. If you
are renting a hall, you will most likely need to worry a little more about
decorations for the whole area. There are also many companies who can help
you with the decorating ideas.
Think about your wedding theme. Do you have one? Some of the many
popular themes are: butterflies, doves, hearts, silver, gold, western.
There are many choices. Our suggestion is to pick a theme that suits both
you and your fiancee. It is your wedding day and if you chose correctly,
you will only be having one! If you have a theme, it makes all the other
decisions a little easier.
If you have chosen a theme, you can coordinate the invitations, cake,
decorations, centerpieces, favors, etc. to match your theme. Your
decisions will also depend on how formal you would like your reception.
Try not to worry too much about getting everything "perfect". Check out
our wedding reception etiquette and traditions section. If you try to do
everything "perfect", things have a way of getting out of hand and your stress
level will also be out of control.
Remember, the main point of the reception is to celebrate with your friends
and family the union of your marriage. Things have a way of coming
together.
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Wedding Reception Etiquette
In our opinion, wedding reception etiquette isn't about "getting it perfect".
It's about making everyone feel comfortable, honoring those you wish to honor,
and making your reception extra special. Don't fret about going against
traditional etiquette for some things as you need. Today, you are more
free to do hatever pleases you in your wedding reception. The following
are considerations that you may choose to consider when you are planning your
party.
The following hopefully will be helpful to plan your special day:
| Receiving line (where will it be located, who stands in it, in what order,
what you do and say) |
| Seating plan (when you should have one, how to make it work smoothly) |
| Head table (will you have one, who sits where in what order) |
| Toasts and speeches (how many, the order of them, will there be a master
of ceremonies) |
| Dancing (will you have traditional dances, which ones, and in what
order...most dj's and bands can help you with this item) |
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Pre and Post-Wedding Parties -
Who Is Responsible Anyway?
|
What/Who When? |
Engagement Party |
Shower |
Bacherlor/Bachelorette Party |
Bridesmaid Luncheon |
Loving Lunch |
Rehearsal Dinner |
At Home Party |
| HOST |
Bride/Grooms Parents or Happy Couple |
Maid of Honor, Bridal Party as a group, Close Friend |
Close Friends of the Groom or Bride |
Bride |
Bride and Groom |
Parents of Groom |
Newleyweds |
| WHEN |
Shortly after accepted proposal |
One to two months before the Wedding |
One to two weeks before the Wedding |
A few weeks before the wedding |
Day before the Wedding |
Night of wedding Rehearsal |
Month After Honeymoon |
| ATTENDEES |
Friends and Family of the Bride and Groom |
Close friends of the bride that are invited to the wedding.
One exception is an office shower where co-workers not invited to wedding
may attend. |
Wedding party and close friends. |
Bride's attendants |
Bride and Groom |
All who attend rehearsal, out of town guests if you wish |
Those that have made your wedding special. |
| WHY |
Social-meet each other's family and friends. Announce
happy event. |
To "shower" the bride with gifts - give a head start to the
couple. |
A bonding experience among friends. |
Bride's "thank you" to attendants |
Last lunch as singles - time to relax |
Social-mix and mingle |
Announce that you are "at home". |
| NOTES |
Optional event. Can be either casual or formal as you
wish. If you wish, you can even surprise your guests with the
announcement of your engagement. |
If bride is registered it is OK to tell guests. You
might want to chip in for a big gift. Themes like bath and kitchen are
helpful. |
Never have the night before the wedding. Plan an
activity like golf, bowling, night out on the town, or spa day trip
together. |
Restaurant or home party is fine. If time is tight, do
a lunch the day you shop for dresses. |
If possible, spend the day together. Make time for
these "just the two of you" moments throughout the planning period. |
Should be casual and informal. Make it an early
evening. Do not compete with the reception. Take a little time
and relax. By now, everything will come together. |
Keep it simple. Try a Sunday brunch or dessert and
coffee, buffet or soup and sandwiches. |
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Bridal Shower Advice
A Bridal Shower should be hosted by the maid of honor, the bridal party as a
group or a close friend. If the family would like to be involved, they
could offer their home or they could chip in for the catering services.
The bridal shower should be planned for one to two months prior to the wedding.
Most bridal showers have 20 to 40 guests. These guests should consist
of close friends and family of the bride and groom that are invited to the
wedding. Most bridal showers consist of woman, although co-ed showers are
becoming very popular, so it is acceptable to consider hosting a co-ed shower.
If the bride is registered, it is acceptable to list the store name and phone
number. Some guests prefer to know what the bride and groom wants.
Some guests don't want to be told what to buy. You can't really please
everyone, it's a fact of life!
Send out the invitations approximately 4 weeks prior to the event. Be
sure to mention name(s) of hostess, name of the bride, date, time, location of
the shower, surprise or non-surprise, and the theme if you have one. The
bridal registry should (by etiquette) never be listed on the invitation itself,
but you may put an insert into the invitation.
Some themes to consider....kitchen, bath, or bed. You may want to list
color scheme of the kitchen or bath. These are the main areas of the bride
and groom's new home that will need to be filled with practical, useful,
wonderful things. Let's face it, after the wedding, they will need to eat,
use the bathroom, and sleep! You could have each guest bring a favorite
recipe from their collection for the bride's new collection (and if you send
everyone an index card, you will get them all back on the correct size card for
her recipe box.).
What happens at the shower? The shower usually lasts about 3 to 4
hours. The guests arrive approximately 1/2 hour before the bride.
You can play games, have some fun. The bride will greet all the guests as
the food is being served. After everyone is done eating, the bridal party
helps with the unwrapping of the gifts. Cards should be placed back into
the gift box and a record kept of each gift and who it is from. After gift
opening, coffee and cake is served and the party breaks up. You can also
play more bridal shower games during the coffee and cake. The hostess can
help the bride get her gifts home (or you can call the groom and tell him that
this is his job....he should do something!)
The bride should then send out thank-you cards within 2 weeks. The
sooner you get them out of the way, the better, because you still have the
biggest event of your life coming up!
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